How Do We Redefine Our Life After A Change?
Some years are transition years. Something happens that changes us positively or negatively. There's an event, a learning process, a new opportunity, a defining moment, or an incident that challenges our status quo in a way we hadn't expected. -Have you had those lately? Me too! -So then what happens?
The truth is that sometimes if we're lucky, we can see them coming. We can foresee a progression of events that make total sense. We celebrate these changes. We welcome them because they might be what we expected or the blessing of an answered prayer.
But what about the times these changes take us by surprise and leave us vulnerable? Those changes we couldn't have fathomed would come. How do we navigate a sudden change in a relationship, in our family, or a turn in our finances or health? Where do we start to make sense of any of it? How do we figure out the next best thing to do?
I believe these are the times when we're almost forced to think we need to redefine ourselves. To prioritize our values and to adjust to our new reality. Taking inventory of our thoughts, emotions, and feelings is helpful. But most importantly, deciding what our next best version looks like is essential. Taking action in the right direction is crucial too.
I like to think we have "outlived' every single challenge that has come our way so far. We think "somehow" we made it through, when in reality, maybe it was "someone" who saw us through. Either way, we're here by grace, by our skills, and by ridiculous amounts of grit we didn't even know we had in us. This tells me the human spirit is resilient and can adjust, improve, learn, and find its way even in the most challenging times. Doesn't that look like "redefining" to you?
Are you in the process of change? What kind is it? Have you had to move? Has there been a sudden change in your relationships? Did your kids leave the house? Did you change career and love it? Has your health improved, and you can hardly believe it? Did you get that new job you so wanted? Or are you stuck and feeling life is just passing you by? Did you lose your way? Do you feel more fulfilled now than a year ago? Do you need help somewhere between your goals and the results you expected? If you said yes to any of these: "Welcome to humankind!" We've all been there or will be at some point.
I've seen that when we go through these challenges it can affect how we perceive ourselves. Depending on what it is, we may experience a super high excitement for our achievements or low self-worth and self-confidence in who we thought we were. Yet events are just events. Why did we think they defined us again?
What if I told you that none of the variables that could suddenly change in your life would be able to actually define you. We don't need redefining. We already are who we need to be. We were created complete with everything we needed to succeed in life. It's all prepackaged in us! Our core values don’t need to be compromised!
The seasons in our life are bound to change. But we can be sure that when that day comes, we'll find out that we'll be stronger than we seemed, smarter than we knew, and braver than we thought. And having gone through everything, we'll still be standing because we're loved in our hearts more than we'll ever know and we never walk alone on our journey.
Every single activity we do, or relationship we have becomes a part of our life. After a while, they seem to define us. Finding oneself after a change and deciding what we want and why is an excellent way to get back home to ourselves. Do we even remember how to do that? We do. We just need to honor our values and beliefs.
We never stop being daughters or sons because our parents transitioned. The character traits, the skill sets we learned, and the love we've shared stay with us forever. They have become a part of how we see ourselves.
We don't need to stop being students just because our formal education ended. We can be students for life, learning all we can just from what we experience, see, and do. What we learn truly does become part of who we are.
We can never stop being friends, even if a few walked away from our life. The love we give and the friendship we share are always a part of us. How can we ever lose it? This is part of our value system.
Change can be exciting, renewing, and fulfilling. A chance for new heights and success! It will always serve us well to be authentic to ourselves, to what we value and believe. When external variables change, whether painful or exciting, we don't stop being who we are. We honor what we still value and don’t compromise.
The core fabric of our being doesn't need redefining, revamping, or recreating. I believe we're created for a purpose, and external things can never change the essence of who we are.
So let's try to be the purest version of ourselves by honoring who we were created to be, what we value, believe and live out.
All my best,
Maria A. Mansfield
Author and Life Coach